iAz Thinks ...

Yes, such a thing exists.

Look - if you want to develop a friendship that lasts a lifetime, you need to make a commitment. 
It’s as solid a commitment as dating someone - you commit to knowing the person, you tell your family, you tell your friends, you take the time to make sure that person knows how important they are in your life. 

And you can’t NOT do any of those things and expect to have a good friendship that lasts a lifetime. Sure - we have friends from high school we’re on good terms with that we might know for a very long time, but that still takes time and commitment.

And I’m sorry - if you lump me in with people I think are assholes, I’m not going to feel special. First among equals ? No. You are first, in my life. There are others of importance, but you are significantly first. You are at my right hand when I go into battle. 
You want me to be first among people that are subpar in your life ? People you met after me, and through me ? People that haven’t been there for you in tumultous moments of your life ? And you expect me to feel honoured that I’m first among these people ? Who do you think you are ?

I don’t have family. Every holiday season, I am alone. And you ALWAYS forget this. Yes, I act like I’m fine. But think about it - think about how it would feel to not have your family to go back to. And you can’t even think about that when YOU’RE DATING ME ! And you want me to not be negative and think positive ? Well , I’m positive that you’re REALLY insensitive. 

I mean seriously. I’m your best friend, and this is how you treat me ? You’ve built a whole history of lies about us, and now you want me to forgive and move forwards ? You’ve got to do better than that. 

(1) Commit to this friendship.
(2) Recognize and validate my feelings
(3) Understand that this is not a normal situation. I do not have other people. You have a significantly more important role in my life than a “friend” would 
(4) Stop trying to justify your sucky friendships. You are friends with people I cannot stomach - YOU need to respect that, and stop expecting me to forgive you and get over that fact.
(5) I am an incredible friend. Stop trying to get me for a steal. Pay full price, or get the fuck out of my life. 

hospitalf0rsouls:

Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God…

did Mary have a little lamb?

(via browncoat-named-cauthon)

Saw my ex tonight. 
I was on a date, he was on the street outside.

He was walking with someone else.
Someone else I avoided talking to, because they represent a low in human existence.

I didn’t feel sad. 
Just … filled with pity, that , when you’re on your own again
That’s who you’re spending your evening with.

I thought I’d taught you better. 

I guess not. 

Time to reboot my magazine ~ clarus magazine, here we go ! 

now i just need writers and articles

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLE WAS A DARKHOUND ! 

WHEEL OF TIME SHERLOCK CROSSOVER< ARGH>

You are the reason I don’t believe in love. 
You gave me hope,
A vague sense that I was worth something.

That I could do amazing things.

What’s amazing is that I believed you.
I knew you for 24 months
And you almost changed the way I’d lived 
For 22 years. 

And then you walked away.

Told me it was because you needed to find yourself.
That it was too much stress.
That you couldn’t be there for me.

I know where you needed to go.

Into his arms. 
You can lie to my face, but I know who it is you want.
I saw the texts that you sent
The writings that you wrote.
You cant even admit it to yourself - you want
The power, the prestige, the stability he presents.

You don’t have to face uncomfortable times

With the family at Christmas
Discussing his skin tone, 
Or is religious upbringing
Or his immigrant status.

You want him so bad
You’ll forgive his internalized homophobia
Racism
Transphobia
You’ll forgive him, because you admire him

And I’m nothing to you. 
You wanted someone you could bring home
And that someone wasn’t me. 

I can’t believe I cut myself, 
Cried myself to sleep
Hated you
Hated the world

I made myself believe that I was worthless without you

And I can never forgive you for that.
You told me I was strong, and you proved it
By stabbing me in the heart. 

At least I saw your eyes when you did it. 
Now I’m here, and I’m cutting you out
And you’re the one that’s scared. 

The stupid thing is I still love you. 

But I will never be able to let you in again.
A good fighter never makes the same mistake twice.
And if I can survive you, I can survive anything. 

I don’t need another person who supports me from a distance. 

I have an emotionally distant
Globally distant family. 
Who I can’t talk to when I need help.

What makes you think I need someone else like that in my life ?
What makes you think I need you ?
What makes you think , I want anything to do with you.