Yes, such a thing exists.
Look - if you want to develop a friendship that lasts a lifetime, you need to make a commitment.
It’s as solid a commitment as dating someone - you commit to knowing the person, you tell your family, you tell your friends, you take the time to make sure that person knows how important they are in your life.
And you can’t NOT do any of those things and expect to have a good friendship that lasts a lifetime. Sure - we have friends from high school we’re on good terms with that we might know for a very long time, but that still takes time and commitment.
And I’m sorry - if you lump me in with people I think are assholes, I’m not going to feel special. First among equals ? No. You are first, in my life. There are others of importance, but you are significantly first. You are at my right hand when I go into battle.
You want me to be first among people that are subpar in your life ? People you met after me, and through me ? People that haven’t been there for you in tumultous moments of your life ? And you expect me to feel honoured that I’m first among these people ? Who do you think you are ?
I don’t have family. Every holiday season, I am alone. And you ALWAYS forget this. Yes, I act like I’m fine. But think about it - think about how it would feel to not have your family to go back to. And you can’t even think about that when YOU’RE DATING ME ! And you want me to not be negative and think positive ? Well , I’m positive that you’re REALLY insensitive.
I mean seriously. I’m your best friend, and this is how you treat me ? You’ve built a whole history of lies about us, and now you want me to forgive and move forwards ? You’ve got to do better than that.
(1) Commit to this friendship.
(2) Recognize and validate my feelings
(3) Understand that this is not a normal situation. I do not have other people. You have a significantly more important role in my life than a “friend” would
(4) Stop trying to justify your sucky friendships. You are friends with people I cannot stomach - YOU need to respect that, and stop expecting me to forgive you and get over that fact.
(5) I am an incredible friend. Stop trying to get me for a steal. Pay full price, or get the fuck out of my life.